Grieving and the Death of a Pet
Losing a pet removes a source of unconditional, non-judgmental affection. Suddenly there is nothing left for the owner to nurture and care for. These feelings can hit especially hard for seniors, people living alone, and couples without children, since a pet often fills a child-like role. Psychologists acknowledge that the grief a pet owner feels after a pet dies mirrors what is felt after losing a person. Grief is a normal reaction to any significant loss in life, whether the death came after a long illness or a sudden accident. Mourning people go through both physical and emotional strain as they adjust to the change in their lives.
Grief may be the most confusing, frustrating and emotional experience a person can face, and that is even truer for pet owners. One mother shared the experience of losing a cherished family pet. Society generally does not permit pet owners to grieve openly over a pet's death, so bereaved owners often feel isolated and alone. More resources are now available to help grieving owners understand they are not alone and that their feelings are completely normal.
Read these moving poems written by someone touched by the loss of a beloved pet.
Recognizing Grief in Surviving Pets
Many people find it hard to believe that animals form strong bonds with one another. Even pets that seem to barely tolerate each other can show intense stress reactions when separated. Grieving pets may display many of the same symptoms as a bereaved owner. A surviving pet may become restless, anxious or depressed, and may sigh frequently, along with changes in sleep and eating. Grieving pets often search for their lost companions and seek extra attention from their owners.
How Can We Help a Grieving Pet?
Owners can support a grieving pet by following these recommendations:
- Keep the surviving pet's daily routines as normal as possible.
- Try not to unintentionally reinforce the behavior changes.
- If the pet's appetite is picky, don't keep switching foods, since that only creates a more finicky pet.
- Don't overdo the attention given to the pet, as it can lead to separation anxiety.
- Allow the surviving animals to work out the new dominance hierarchy themselves. There may be scuffles and fights as the animals establish a new pecking order, especially among dogs.
- Don't get a new pet to help the grieving pet unless the owner is ready. This will backfire unless the owner is emotionally prepared for a new pet, and people still grieving won't have the energy for it.
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